It can be a challenge restraining anger, especially when someone is mad at you. But responding in a like manner can lead to undesirable consequences. Remember anger is natural for everyone; it is merely a response to things that have gone wrong or if someone is hurt. Don't be harsh to the other person who is mad at you, but, at the same time, don't accept any abuse from them either.
"Anyone can become angry - that is easy.Aristotle, "The Nicomachean Ethics".
But to be angry with the right person,
to the right degree, at the right time,
for the right purpose,
and in the right way-
this is not so easy."
Restraining Anger Provoked?
That means you should not do anything you believe that would just make the person happy again, or just for peace sake. However, you should ask yourself what you have done to provoke the person's anger against you. Also, consider if the person has a good reason for being angry. You don't have to think you need to quiet down the angry person all the time. Encourage the person to speak, but in a respectful manner. Listen to the person, and try to understand their point of view or motives. Don't interrupt them or try to tell them how they should feel, or jump to conclusions about their attitude. Telling someone they are over-reacting can worsen the situation.
Restraining Anger Shows Control
If you honestly think the person is wrong and is using their anger to manipulate the situation, explain your position and identify what they want. Try to respond to the person calmly, with empathy and tolerance. Stick to neutral comments or not at all.
Just remember, you don't have to secure control of every moment. Control shows on how well you respond to angry people. Accept apologies and forgive others, because you would have like others to do the same for you, if you showed the same human weakness. This is how you can start restraining anger.
Articles in this series:
Is there such a thing as healthy anger
Do I have anger issues
Simple anger test
Facial displays of anger
Linking diet and antisocial behaviour
Methods and techniques of Anger Management
What is anger management
Quenching anger before it becomes destructive
Coping with the roadblocks of life
What triggers your anger bug
Teaching children anger management skills
When others are mad at you
"Stop anger, be happy"
"A Poison Tree" by William Blake