Anger has many faces and thus can become unhealthy or healthy anger. Some more threatening than others. This is because everyone deals with anger differently. Our experiences have taught us how to handle anger displayed towards us and in expressing it to others. Though, anger can become a monster when it turns into a shouting match that could escalate into abuse, physically or emotionally.
Unhealthy and Healthy Anger
Such anger affects us negatively. We can assume that this is unhealthy anger. Unhealthy anger can persist for a long time. Unhealthy anger is extremely damaging. It causes you to lose a healthy zeal for life; decreases your love for the things you once had; and causes you to lose control of things. Unhealthy anger is anti-progressive.
When Life Gives You Lemons, Make Lemonade
However, healthy anger is anger that has turned productive. It does not punish yourself or others; overpower you with negative emotions; or causes you to ignore others. When your anger is view as normal and one that could naturally happen at various times in life you become more level headed in handling angry emotions.
Healthy anger is undoubtedly an individual perspective of anger when you have a healthy relationship with your anger. You have healthy anger when you recognise your anger as a warning sign of a real problem in your life. It helps you not to act impulsively because of your anger.
Instead, you think about what could cause your anger and how you should express it to solve your problems. You express your anger in a non-threatening manner to others. Therefore, healthy anger is temporary, and does not destroy relationships or hinder relationships from developing. It does not cause emotional pain to both parties. It is not abusive. Everyone can learn to handle anger in a healthy way.
Steps in Handling Anger
First, you must identify that anger is a normal part of your life, that arises from the normal interrelations with people and in the relationships you form. You must recognize that your anger strains these relationships and causes other unwanted acts that could leave you feeling weak, insecure, and embarrassed.
Next, you must manage your anger in such a way so as to control your temper before it grows into an outburst. That means, you would have to identify your anger early and defuse it or change the anger thoughts.
Finally, you have to find ways to cope with obstacles or conflict in life. Once you seek to control your anger you will have healthy anger.
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"Stop anger, be happy"
"A Poison Tree" by William Blake